The office script ss two santas
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#The office script ss two santas how to
Because I always know how to get through to him. Jim: No, you won’t, because he’s not picking up his phone. Michael: It’s hard for me to imagine a scenario, where Meredith Palmer keeps her job and David Wallace does not – no offense Meredith. We’ve been sold and that can mean many different things. David told me.ĭwight: When? When did he tell you? Today? And I can’t help but look at all your wonderful beautiful faces and think, “How could they do this to us?” And Angela and Phyllis, you are my Grandmas. Michael: You know what, Christmas isn’t about Santa, or Jesus. The board will have no choice to approve. Michael: Hey! Get off! Get off the phone!ĭavid: Listen, I shouldn’t tell you this, but the company has a buyer. Michael: What the hell? How rude! Does she do that all the time?Įrin: Do you want me off the call too Michael? Michael: I’m Jesus, David, and you know why? Because Phyllis, a woman, has uslurped my role as Santa.ĭavid: Stephanie, can you hop off please? You can tell me or I am going to hang up. Michael: David, guess who I’m sitting here dressed as.ĭavid: I’m not going to guess. Michael: What? Was I not supposed to say it? What? Turn it back on. You can make another dress that goes past your feet. Somebody shout it out, don’t make me get up.Īngela: It’s fabric! I really wanted this. Phyllis: And this brings us to you, little one. You’re going to H-E-L-L double hockey sticks. Adultery’s a sin, look it up in the Bible people. Michael: Yeah, except for cheating on your wife. Phyllis: Ho ho ho! For Stanley! Ho ho ho! You’ve been very good this year – Dwight’s gonna be able to build himself a friend! Deck the halls with crappy gifts… Michael: Uh oh, what’s Dwight gonna get? What is iiiit?ĭwight: Yes! Phyllis: This just arrived from the Dunder Mifflin North Pole branch!ĭwight: We don’t have a North Pole branch. Jim: And if you want Michael as Santa, raise your hand. Michael: No no no wait! No! There are other choices, there is information that we – Are you kidding me? Kevin? After you almost killed me?
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Michael: Hey! Okay! Everybody! The office is being pulled apart! I realize that. Michael: Oh, do we? Do “We?” Is that what “we” want? Why don’t “we” take a vote on it? Michael: Do you understand, you forced my hand? You know what Jim, there are two Santas in the room. Jim: You can’t yell out “I need this, I need this” as you pin down an employee on your lap! Jim: Can I just talk to you for a second? Michael: Ahhh… Ho ho ho! Come on I need this. Michael: Okay you know what you get? You get a thousand helium balloons attached to you so Santa doesn’t have to go through this again. Kevin: I didn’t even get to tell you what I wanted! Michael: Okay get off, get off! Oh! Oh, God! Kevin: What about if I tell you the things I don’t want? Kevin: Can you give me some choices? Cause I really don’t want to mess up on this list. Michael: All right, just say “some toys” please. Nobody’s ever let me sit on their lap before.
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Michael: What did you think was going to happen? I didn’t know you were gonna ask me that. Michael: What would you like for Christmas little boy? Michael: Right now! Come on over here, big boy! There we go.
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But, Santa remembers a reindeer that was just a tiny bit different as well. Michael: Oh! I am so sorry that Phyllis hates you. Michael: No it’s not, not like penis-wise. Sit down on my lap and there will be no doubt! Phyllis is only … pretending to be a man, I’m the real thing. Michael: Ho ho ho! Why pay more to sit next to old Tranny Claus over there, when you can sit on my lap. Stanley: We’re supposed to applaud you for taking a giant diaper off fake tree?ĭwight: This was a successful unveiling! Go back to work! Merry Christmas! Jim: We didn’t, because we think it’d be better to do it together.Īndy: Why would you wrap it in a sheet, if you’re not covering anything up?ĭwight: Yes, we are unveiling, an artificial tree, that will never die… Meredith: Why don’t we talk more about it instead of doing it?ĭwight: Thirty! Twenty-nine! Twenty-eight! Jim: No, it’s not “ugh.” It is… office camaraderie. Ryan: Uh, I have actually been to Rock Center, and this is nothing like that.